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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

from a story I was reding-taekwondo

'Lia?' Hinablot nya yung braso ko at napatigil ako sa paglalakad. Hinarap ko sya. 'Lia? Kanina ka pa tahimik. Ano bang nangyari? May problema ba?' HA?! :o MAY PROBLEMA BA? Aalis ka't iiwan mo ko at hindi ka magpaparamdam for two years, tapos bigla kang sisipot na parang magic tapos magsasalita ka na parang hindi nangyari yung iniwan mo ko for two years tapos ang itatanong mo sa kin, "MAY PROBLEMA BA?" Anong klase 'to? Pinigilan kong sumigaw in frustration. 'ANO BANG GUSTO MO?' Oops, lumabas na, pero hindi ko na binawi, at wala rin naman talaga akong inclination na bawiin yun e. I was too mad to care. Parang nagulat siya at natigilan. Inalis ko yung kamay nya sa braso ko. 'Anong gusto mo, update? O sige. Pumasa akong blackbelt, pumasa akong college, nag-varsity, nakapasang national team, nag-debut. O ayan. Pero sa bagay, hindi mo nga naman malalaman yan, di ba? Kasi ni papel na walang sulat e wala kang ipinadala sa kin. Mawawala ka ng two years, Alex, tapos babalik ka na parang walang nangyari? Ano bang ine-expect mo?' Hinawakan nya ulit yung braso ko. Alam ko na nag-iisip siya, dahil yung mukha nya e nawalan ng expression. 'Halika, mag-kape muna tayo.' ANO?! :o :o :o Sinigawan na kita't pinamukha ko na sa 'yo kung anong ginawa mo sa kin at halos sirain mo na yung pag-iisip ko tapos ang masasabi mo lang e 'MAGKAPE MUNA TAYO?' Pero hindi ako pumalag kasi alam ko na hindi siya papayag na hindi ako sumama, kahit na pagod na ako. Alam ko rin na may mga bagay kaming dapat pag-usapan. Two years worth of issues na dapat pag-usapan. Pinaupo niya ako sa labas ng Starbucks'. Sa ganung oras wala na masyadong dumadaan. Sa ngayon, tinitignan ko siya, bumibili ng kape para sa 'ming dalawa. Naramdaman ko na unti-unti nang nag-aadjust yung utak ko sa fact na talagang nandito na si Alex at nandito ako sa labas ng Starbucks' habang bumibili siya ng kape sa loob. Inisip ko... Ang sakit ng ginawa niya... Minahal ko siya tapos unti-unti nyang kinalimutan na nag-eexist ako... LIMANG TAON - simula nung una ko syang makita nung second year, hanggang ngayon na eighteen na ko siya ang minahal ko tapos... Iniwan nya lang ako. Nawala sya sa buhay ko. Ngayon nandito ulit siya... Then suddenly, may na-realize ako. Nalungkot ako. Eto na sya, palabas na, dala-dala yung mga kape. Umupo sya at alam ko na ako muna ang dapat magsalita. Humigop ako ng konting kape. 'Sorry kung nasigawan kita kanina... Yung mga sinabi kong yun - ' 'Alam ko naman na yun talaga ang nararamdaman mo e.' Damn. 'Anyway... Tama ka. Pero there are things you have to understand...' Umoo siya. 'Naalala mo yung puno sa tapat ng gym?' Ngumiti siya, at alam kong naaalala niya. 'Di ba dun tayo lagi nakatambay? Dun tayo nangarap... Na sa debut ko, kahit anong theme e escort kita at magsasayaw tayo, na sa black belt promotion ko e lalabas tayo nung mga dati nating teammates, na kapag nag-try akong mag-national team e ikaw ang magtuturo sa kin...' Uminom ako ng konti bago ako tumuloy. Nagsmile ako. 'You'll be pleased to know na nagkatotoo yun lahat. Nag-debut ako, nag-blackbelt at naka-national team. Pero somehow... Somehow kahit natupad ko lahat yun, hindi ako naging masaya. Pagkatapos kong mag-national team, umiiyak ako. Nung debut ko, nung kaisa-isang araw na dapat masaya ako, umiiyak rin ako. Bakit? Kasi hinahanap kita.' Nararamdaman ko na nagluluha na yung mga mata ko, pero hindi sila pumapatak. 'Iniisip ko, "ano kayang ginagawa niya? Iniisip niya rin kaya ako? Sino kayang kasama niya? NASAAN KA NA?" Ang sakit. Ang sakit... Iniwan mo ko. Nasaan ka nung nagsasayawan na kami nung debut ko? Nasaan ka nung tinanggap ko yung black belt ko? Nasaan ka nung nalaman kong nakapasa ako sa qualifier? Wala ka Alex. Hindi mo nakita... Natupad silang lahat!' Pumatak na yung mga luha ko nun, pero hindi ko sila pinunasan. Kailangan niyang makita kung paano niya ako sinaktan. Kailangan niyang makita kung gaano ako nasaktan. 'Pero hindi ko na ibabalik sa 'yo yun, Alex. Nag-suffer ako mag-isa. Pero hindi pa rin kita ma-blame dun kasi pareho lang naman tayo, di ba? Pareho lang tayong nasaktan. Napansin ko rin naman na puro tungkol lang sa kin yung mga pinangarap natin dun sa ilalim ng puno... Debut ko, promotion ko, qualifier ko. Tinupad ko yun. Pareho lang tayong nangarap, di ba? Yun nga lang, nilayo ka sa kin ng pangarap mo. Dinala ka dun, sa Korea. Pero hindi mo na mababago yun. Alam ko na kung kaya mong gawin yun ng hindi ako sinasaktan...' Tumigil na ako at nagpunas ng luha. Nasabi ko na yung gusto kong sabihin. It's his turn to speak. 'Lia... Alam ko na nasaktan kita. Pero hindi ko sinadya yun... Akala mo ginusto kong mawala habang nangyayari yun lahat sa'yo? Hindi. Pero minahal kita... Two years akong nagtiis na hindi ka guluhin... Tinulungan kitang kalimutan ako.' 'Pero nandito na ko, Lia. Hindi na ako mawawala.' Hindi nya na kailangan diretsahin. Alam ko na hinihingi niya na yung chance na maging kami na, finally... Ngumiti lang ako, kahit nalulungkot ako. Hindi pa niya matanggap, no? 'Alex, parte ka na ng buhay ko. Honestly, hindi ko ma-imagine kung ano ako ngayon kung hindi ka dumating... Tinitignan kita ngayon Alex. Pero hindi ka na yung Alex na minahal ko, at hindi na rin ako yung Lia na minahal mo. Pareho na tayong nagbago.' Alam ko na nasusundan niya yung sinasabi ko, dahil yung expression nya ay parang hindi ko na mabasa bigla... 'Alex...' Hindi ko na kailangang sabihin, pero sinabi ko pa rin. 'Hindi na kita kilala.' Naiyak siya. Pinapanood ko lang siya habang sunod-sunod na pumapatak yung luha nya. Alam ko na nararamdaman nya yung sakit na nararamdaman ko. Pero tapos na akong umiyak. Tapos na rin akong masaktan. Naramdaman ko lang ang pagsisisi. Minahal ko siya pero hindi ko siya ipinaglaban... Hinayaan kong pigilan kami ng mga tao at ng mga pangyayari na magmahalan. Kahalo ng pagsisisi ay panghihinayang... Ang dami naming willing gawin para sa isa't-isa... It wasn't puppy love, it wasn't young love, pero it was love. The real deal. Pero pinalampas namin ang napakaraming pagkakataon. And as a result, the moments just... They just passed us by. Maybe, in the future, bigyan pa kami ng chance. Alam ko na lagi kong mamahalin si Alex. Hindi na mawawala yun. He was the one great love in my life. Lahat willing akong gawin para sa kanya. Tumayo ako at kinuha yung gym bag at armor ko. Umiiyak pa rin siya. Nginitian ko na lang siya, isang ngiting puno ng lungkot. 'See you around, Alex.'

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Gab's advocate

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

...

We all know the word Understanding, but do we really know it by heart? In order to know someone we have to understand them well. We have to be sensitive. And before you say something to someone or know why this person acts this way, you have to observe. Be more sensitive, ask yourself why is this person acted this way, or you your self has the problem. Also to be a good friend you also have to open yourself and you shouldn’t just blame this person why he/she like this while in fact you’re the one who is building wall that even with your friend’s effort to get close to you was hard to do.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Time waits for no one…

Time waits for no one? Yeah! There was a saying, that say it now or it will never be, because you’re not sure that things will go smoothly and maybe there will be unfortunate events occurred. That’s why, you say it now or else there will be no second chances. Words you wanted to say deep from your heart will never be come out. You’ll never know things will not go smoothly as what you thought it will be, so say it immediately! Who knows what will happen in the future. You’ll never have chances to say it to that person. Everything will be too late to tell it.

People thought that they still have time before they will say it to that person, but they never know maybe it will be the end. Holding back would not be in any help. So say it! Before things don’t go smoothly….^^

Saturday, October 3, 2009

My heart melts for KIM BUM!

Gosh! I saw Kim Bum in person! And I am really happy! I thought this day was super impossible due to our weather. But good thing it was ok, though it was raining a little bit.

I woke up early, because I have to check updates for the said events. Then prepared, then Gran texted me that she wouldn’t be able to come, but I told her she must! Lol I’m mean hhihi. But anyways we headed at the network and wait there until like 2pm. Then we were brought to the studio, where the E-live will be held. Then wait another 1 ½ hour (gosh! It was super boring! as in!) then there it was at around 3:30 the show started. Then go on go on…blah blah..Then it was Kim Bum’s turn! OMG! There he was! waah but before he came, we were instructed to not take a pictures of him because he was tired and not feeling well. But then some took some photos. Gosh! He really is super handsome! I really could die now! lol as in! Good thing some of the people I meet there got the chance to take a photo of him so maybe tomorrow I’ll try to post it in here..weee!! But today, though I’m happy, but not really happy (confused?!) lol I didn’t have a chance to have his autograph and have a picture with him, because of is extremely super strict entourage! Gosh! I hate it! Hey it’s KIM BUM!!! Anyways at least I saw him! weee!

Friday, September 25, 2009

The scene where my 1st duty was

http://www.igma.tv/video/8979/Stairway-to-Heaven-Patay-na-si-Jodi At GUiguinto District Hospital. This is where my first hospital duty and it is where stairway to heaven filmed. So I saw it last night! COOL! I hope that time they were shooting it, was also my duty so I could see those stars!lol But I already saw Glaiza De Castro in person, when I got the chance to interview her. Oh btw, the part where Dingdong Dantes was crying, is where the haunted room. lol that room is super creepy whenever you'll pass by that room! And we even experienced being haunted. Like the door would bang then open as if there is someone opening it, then slam the door. I really can't believe it!Because that time there was a storm, so we thought it was the wind, but when we check it the next morning!God!The window was lock!and it was really creepy and eerie. We just pleased our self that it was the wind ,but not, so our instinct is true after all! Well I need to stop here!see yuh!

1st time experience!

Gosh!! this day was soo nerve wracking! and cool! Thank God, I overcome my fears of seeing blood and stuff. this was my very first encounter seeing a woman deliver a baby. OMG! super exciting! weee.. I hope I can fully overcome my fears.!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

MJ

video

Well this video is soo cool! Kevjumba already said what I want to voice out.

His right, we should really see first his own uniqueness, before we judge others. And sometimes we should stop being a judgemental. Michael Jackson is cool!ok!lol he really is the greatest entertainer ever live. No one can stand to his level! No one can make all the whole world sing and dance. He made us all see that everyone are equal in there own unique ways. So before accusing him, look at first his works! That's all!enjoy!^^

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I'm bless!

Why I'm saying I am blessed? Well for many reason I truly am. I'm blessed because I have friends that I could count on and they helped me to balance my life, especially my spiritual life. I know I've been not going straight to the right path and it was really a rough road going to him, but every time I'm with my friends from high school, I always been reminded the faith that I always have and in a way, it slowly straighten my path. I am very thankful to them! And I truly thank God, that I have a friends like them, that keeps me on the right path and still reminding me to hold on to my faith. Yeah , I know that there are times that I'm not sure where I'm heading to and who should I be holding on, but through them, I'm still growing more! Not that fast, but slowly growing spiritually. thanks besies!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Heartbreak:What?

Why does each of us experience heartbreaks? Is it only because we are hurt or left by someone?
There was this blog entry I read one time, and its topic is about heartbreak. Well, as the blogger had said, everyone can indeed experience heartbreak from simple reasons to more complicated ones. She also said that heartbreaks can also be experienced because of other things, aside from being left by a loved one. So, not all heartbreaks are actually from “the heartbreaks”! Lolz :D
Why am I writing about this? Well, it’s because I’ve been really disturbed about a friend’s situation. Hmm, now I’m talking about *love thingy*. I really can’t take it! A girl having a relationship with another guy— when there’s her boyfriend who’s totally head over heels in love with her! My god! I really find it shocking!!!
Well, anyway, I don’t know why being I’m pretty much affected about this issue. Is it because I’ve been through a part of that kind of dilemma before? (The one who’s being fooled, of course!) …Yeah. I guess that’s it. I’ve been there before. I certainly can empathize with the pain he’s feeling (although my case was kind’a different...) Whoa! Lol! Without doubt, fixing a broken heart is really tough, but we should always remember that there are friends/ people around us that could help us get through it. And I’m really grateful to those who help me— my friends. :D
I think that for every heart break, there is always a lesson learned, and definitely, it won’t be long before comfort comes: there will always be a new door for a new love. So don’t give up! Never stop loving!